


It's Not Fair

by MercurianAmi (Sandy)



Series: Thousands of Dawns [2]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:17:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6838747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandy/pseuds/MercurianAmi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shared Pain</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Fair

Michiru could tell the exact moment that Usagi stopped calling after both of them and started just calling for Haruka. Haruka, the runner, the very embodiment of wind slowed down. It would have been imperceptible to anyone else, but Michiru knew it. Her own heart had hurt when Usagi no longer called her name, but she focused on running, on protecting Usagi from them, from what they were, from what they would do.

When they were safe in Haruka’s apartment, she clenched her jaw and her fists. No mission, in any life had been easy. No fight had not required their whole souls and hearts. But this, being in proximity to the Princess, to Usagi, trying to protect the world, the system, _her_ from an external threat with her there...it cut her soul, their souls more than any other fight they’d ever fought.

She turned, desperately wishing that the plaintive cry included her name. How did one deal with knowing that even as your soul was torn apart, the one you sacrificed it for did not love you? It was selfish; she knew that. She didn’t want Usagi to hurt.

And then there was Haruka, slumping against the door, her palms flat on it, a tear tracing down her cheek. 

Not for the first time, Michiru ruthlessly shoved her emotions done, locked them away, and armored herself with grace. The only emotions she did not suppress were the strongest, the most important, the ones that sustained her in the darkest hour. The love even stronger than her feelings for Usagi now or the Princess before. Her love for the woman in front of her hurting, breaking.

Michiru didn’t say anything, but moved to stand beside Haruka, offering the only thing she could, her presence. When Haruka slid the rest of the way to the floor, Michiru sat beside her. When Haruka reached out a hand for her, Michiru caught it and entwined their fingers. When Haruka leaned her head on her shoulder--quite a feat even slumped, Michiru sat up taller to make it easier for Haruka, and leaned her own head onto her partner’s. When Haruka ever so softly spoke the words that expressed all of their shared lament, “It’s not fair,” Michiru whispered back, “I know.”

Time passed as they sat there, until Haruka straightened and then stood, letting go of Michiru’s hand just long enough to rise and then offering it back to pull Michiru to her feet.

“I’m sorry. You know it’s not…”

She nodded, “I know, Haruka. I know.” Michiru tried desperately to offer her lover a smile.

Haruka’s eyes grew wide, and she cursed herself under her breath. “Michiru…I…”

Michiru tried to smile, but Haruka saw it. The cracks in Michiru’s armor, and now she was the one wrapping her arms around her lover, holding her. She could not, would not blame Michiru for her choices. There were even times she thought the other woman had the right of it.

She knew people thought her the strong one. Her talisman was a sword, Michiru’s a mirror. But she knew the truth. Michiru was steel, the strength of the ocean, unyielding, withstanding everything, life giving and yet terrifying. And she was breaking every bit as much as she herself was, perhaps more.

Bowing her head into her lover’s, breathing in her scent, she tightened her arms around her. They stood like that until Haruka found the words. “She admires you. The way she looks at you. She idolizes you. I saw her watching you play, and she was so caught up in you, in your music, in your soul, Michiru.”

Michiru’s nod was infinitesimal. “It’s not the same thing.”

“I know.” And if it weren’t for the fact she’d hate them both when all was said and done, if Usagi were ever able to get to know Michiru… 

Which of them would fall further? The known beloved or the admired idol… Did it matter? 

Eventually, their hearts would heal each other, their souls would remember that they had saved the world, or tried to, and protected Usagi, their Princess. 

She felt Michiru relax against her. “It’s not fair.”

“I know.”


End file.
